Living through grief: The podcast episode
WhatchaGottaDo when you're invited to discuss your journey through grief and loss on a podcast . . . you say yes!
You know when you connect with other people sitting at a bar and it’s all very nice for the evening, but sometimes you actually for real CONNECT with people when you’re all sitting at the bar together?
It was my great luck and good fortune that Epic and I sat next to Codie on this particular evening at this particular establishment last December. Next thing I know, she had invited me to appear on WhatchaGottaDo, the podcast she and her close friend KT co-host together. I started listening to it shortly thereafter, and was struck by how each episode feels authentic, memorable and practical. It’s hosted by real people who talk about real stuff with other real people. It’s like hanging out with some super cool old friends!
Eight and a half years after my husband Dan’s death started me on this unexpected journey, I am humbled to be described as an “insightful expert” on a podcast dedicated to my own experience living through grief. This is that podcast episode.
Many years ago, a friend of mine’s father unexpectedly did not survive “routine” heart surgery. She described her feelings to me as “it’s far worse than being dumped [in a relationship.]” We were in our 20s, and this was the closest comparison she was able to provide. I was sympathetic, and I hope I said something suitable, but I truly could not comprehend her pain or respond in a way that didn’t feel awkward. We never discussed it again.
Grief is individual. Grief is real. Grief, and loss, comes in many forms, not limited to death or dying (but death seems to be the most painful form for most of us.) Society, however, is collectively uncomfortable with grief. We don’t know what to do or say or how to react, just as I didn’t know when my friend told me about her dad’s death.
Now, because my own life brought me here, I understand. I have lived through terrible grief. I have survived the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I have been deeply transformed by it. Yet even I was surprised when my father’s death last year brought an entirely different and unexpected level of heartache to my own seasoned grief experience. There is no predicting where grief might take us as we encounter various losses in the course of living.
The first rule of life seems to be, don’t talk about death. And if we don’t talk about death we cannot truly understand grief.
We need to have and keep having these conversations. I am grateful to KT and Codie for inviting me to their podcast to share my story and participate in such a critical discussion.
Was my chance encounter with Codie meant to be? We’ve already agreed that there are no coincidences.
Join us, won’t you?
Living through Grief with Pritam Potts
Substack YouTube Spotify SoundCloud
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